Developer: System Vision Publisher: Kaneko Released: 1992 Genre: Action
Once upon a time food mascots were popular enough to receive their own video games. And surprisingly some of these games were actually good! Cool Spot is an example of a team taking their task seriously and delivering an excellent platformer in the process. But just as you would expect the vast majority were awful. Chester Cheetah: Too Cool to Fool is one of those games. It does the bare minimum as a generic platformer and largely fails at that. There is a reason games like this are forgotten. Let it stay that way.
The nonsensical story has Chester Cheetah supposedly being held prisoner in a zoo. Yet he can roam freely with no restrictions. The zoo keeper Mean Eugene has made off with his wheels and it is your job to reassemble his motorcycle and bust out of there.
First things first, why? Chester Cheetah was popular, but enough to star in a video game? I remember Chester as some marketing team’s attempt at being cool to kids. And as dumb as I might have been as a child I was not buying it. That could be ignored if the game itself were good. But Too Cool to Fool is a mess of bad level design, poor controls, and short length. It at least looks decent but that is little saving grace. Three strikes and you’re out I’m afraid.
The first thing you’ll notice is the glacial pace. For a cheetah Chester walks slow as molasses. He can only run after finding the shoe power-up. And even then his run isn’t as useful as you would expect. There is a wind up before he breaks into a sprint and even then it is hard to time your jumps properly. Even worse, the level design isn’t conducive to you jetting around, making this power-up useless. There are sunglasses that let you see invisible items, which is funny as Chester is already wearing sunglasses….yeah. Last but not least is the guitar. Grabbing it will cause Chester Cheetah to wail on it and become invincible. The only problem is his dancing back and forth is uncontrollable, leading to cheap deaths. If it is not one thing it’s another with this game.
The goal of each level is to find a piece of the motorcycle to activate the exit. While this sounds like each stage is a massive maze with well hidden parts, It is the opposite. Aside from stage two each piece is in plain sight or given to you outright. It is a bit anticlimactic but you’ll come to appreciate it after experiencing the awful level design.
If Chester Cheetah were a completely straightforward platformer it would be average but possibly enjoyable. Instead it tries something different in each level and completely fails at it. The first and third levels are as close to normal as possible but have sloppy controls. Chester is slow to react and very floaty. He is slippery when in motion and the collision detection is all over the place. I can’t count the number of times I clearly bounced on an enemy only to take a hit. Someone must have noticed as there are life restoring Cheetos everywhere. Stage two is the only open area that allows you to explore but is let down by a confusing layout and the less than ideal controls. The caves of stage four provide a small spotlight that completely obscures incoming enemies. It’s a perfect lesson in how not to implement this mechanic.
Too Cool to Fool isn’t so much a difficult game as it is frustrating. The myriad control problems lead to cheap hits and eventually death. You have a single life and few continues but even that is not much of a deterrent. If you can stomach this until the end you’ll find that the game is very short at only five stages. But that is five levels where you’ll constantly make excuses as to why you are still playing the game. It is not that I expect much from Too Cool to Fool but it could have at least been entertaining.
In Closing
Chester Cheetah: Too Cool to Fool is a bad game and best avoided. No one asked for this, no one wants this, and no one talks about it, keep it that way.
