Developer: Paint by Numbers, Inc. Publisher: Data East Released: April 1991 Genre: Action
Watching Robocop when I was entirely too young to do so is one of the most indelible experiences of my childhood. Surprisingly for such a violent movie they wasted no time capitalizing on its success with toys, a cartoon (seriously) and video games. The Robocop NES game was full of flaws but I still wanted to like it for some reason. I cannot say the same for its sequel. Robocop 2 is just as bad as the movie it is based on and probably worse because you are playing it. I hated every moment with this one.
Robocop 2 changes genre from a straightforward action game to surprisingly a platformer. Those that remember the original recall Murphy’s slow walk as he was glued to the ground and had to manage exploration with his limited power and energy. Those elements are gone as Robocop now leaps like Mario and slides around like he was gifted a pair of roller skates. With his newfound freedom of movement you would think the game would be more exciting but it is anything but.
Compared to the previous game Robocop 2 is not as simple. The goal in every level is to destroy a certain amount of the Nuke drug and arrest at least 60% of the criminals too. As cool as it sounds you apprehend criminals by simply walking into them. Amusingly some levels task you with saving civilians although the game still refers to it as arresting criminals. I guess that shows how little they cared about the game. Failure to complete enough of either objective will send you to the shooting range where you are tasked with destroying a set number of targets. Fail twice and you are sent back two levels. These become progressively more difficult to discourage players who want to run through the stages, not that it is even possible.
The goal oriented level design is not bad in and of itself. Part of what makes Robocop 2 so bad are the awful controls and its level design. Robocop 2 truly feels like he is walking on ice at all times. If that wasn’t bad enough the game tries to incorporate precision platforming like Mega Man but falls on its face. Between the controls and the confusing level design it is awful. Robocop is like a brick once airborne which means every jump is a leap of faith. By the third level the game heavily focuses on platforming and it never gets better; in fact it gets worse. There are segments with reversed controls and floating platforms that simply don’t work. I can honestly say this is probably one of the top ten most frustrating games I have ever played.
The flaws do not end there. The game does not tell you how much Nuke is required in each stage. If you follow the straight path to the end most of the time you will not meet the invisible requirements. In nearly every level you will have to find hidden rooms that have the Nuke you need. Unfortunately there is no rhyme or reason as to their placement. In stage three I accidentally missed a jump and fell into sewage. But instead of dying it took me to a secret area. Every level is like this and it sucks. If they included a simple progression bar on the UI it would not be so frustrating. But it is just one among a series of game breaking flaws.
With everything I have listed it comes as no surprise that Robocop 2 is one of the most difficult and aggravating games on the NES. The entire game feels broken and it seems to revel in it. Sudden enemy spawns that equal instant death? Check. Instant death when you touch other metal objects? Oh it is in there. That last one is personally mind boggling. The way the levels focus on such awful platforming makes me question if anyone play tested the game. I am struggling to think of anything positive to say and I can’t.
The first game on the NES made good use of the NES’ limited color palette to convey the decrepit streets of Detroit. Robocop 2 goes in the opposite direction and looks like a literal clown show half the time. The bright pastel colors look out of place and gaudy and not the slightest bit interesting. There are two or three stage themes recycled repeatedly with a slight change in palette and they all look ugly. Robocop 2 was developed by Ocean and published by Data East. It explains a lot as the game looks similar to their other awful licensed titles on the system.
In Closing
Robocop 2 is an awful game in every way you can imagine. I cannot think of a single redeeming quality, that is how bad it is. When people think licensed video games are bad titles like Robocop 2 is the reason why. Stay the hell away from this game.
