Developer: Natsume Publisher: FCI Release: 01/91 Genre: Action-Adventure
The Dragonlance series of novels were my first fantasy series growing up. While some kids were fortunate enough to read the Lord of the Rings the adventures of Tanis and his party were my jam growing up. There were many AD&D titles for the NES and Heroes of the Lance was one of them. This immediately caught my interest but every single review I came across was scathing and kept me away. Could Heroes of the Lance really be that bad? Yes, dear god yes it truly is as bad as they say.
Heroes of the Lance is a port of the computer game of the same name. On the PC Heroes of the Lance was a slow and plodding game with its menu driven interface. It makes sense as you were using a keyboard and mouse. Later ports for the Amiga and FM Towns Marty increased the pace but were still clunky. The NES version however is a travesty that should not have been released in this state. The game is barely functional and even using cheats just to reach the ending was an exercise in frustration. Everyone involved with this product should be ashamed of themselves; considering their stellar work on the NES I can only assume Natsume’s mandate was to port the game exactly as it was on the PC which is sad. They could have fixed the game’s flaws and made it tolerable at least.
The time frame of Heroes of the Lance places it in the middle of Dragons of Autumn Twilight, the first in the quadrilogy. Specifically the game centers around the companions adventure in the underground city of Xak Tsaroth to retrieve the disks of Mishakal from the dragon Khisanth. That means the game is essentially one long dungeon crawl. You have access to all eight heroes from the novel in your party and can arrange them as you like. You only control one character at a time but can use the other’s abilities like Raistlin or Goldmoon’s spells provided they are in your front line. The character’s function as your lives and you can switch your active character like TMNT to keep them alive. Ideally you would use the best character for the current situation. But in practice the awful, awful controls and mechanics make that a bad idea.
The controls are a complete mess. Every action takes one button press too many for the simplest of things. To duck you hold down and jump and to run you need to keep moving in a direction to build speed. To pick up items you have to stand on it then access the menu to take it and then choose which character will hold it. You can use magic freely but the specific character has to be in the front row. Every action is slow, from movement to jumping to combat. There is some light platforming and it is awful; I refuse to believe no one looked at this and agreed it was good. You would think since this is a side scrolling action game that at least the action would be good. But they screw that up too.
Oh the god damn combat. This game has some of the worst hit detection I have ever experienced. You can attack from three angles but you will miss 90% of the time. The hit boxes seem to be a foot in front of the enemy but it is inconsistent. The first enemies you encounter are slow so it is….manageable. But once you encounter faster enemies it is enough to drive you away. You can spam magic somewhat to cover for this but it is still aggravating. Spells like magic missile and spider web still miss a lot and the combat encounters only increase the deeper you progress. For such an integral part of the game to be so terrible is the kiss of death but it gets worse.
The worst aspect of Heroes of the Lance is that there is no in game map or direction. The dungeon is a mess of corridors with the only guide being a compass. The hallways eventually start to look identical and it is easy to get lost. Even looking at a map on the internet it was still confusing as to how the doors lined up. There are parts of the background that are doorways that I would never have guessed without looking at a guide. Because the game tells you nothing you wander aimlessly in hopes of progressing deeper. Here’s the catch: if you let Goldmoon die you cannot finish the game as only she can use the blue crystal staff at the end. But of course the game does not tell you this. It is just another pile on a shit salad.
If Heroes of the Lance had normal controls and a map then everyone would see it is short. The dungeon only has three areas. The layout is confusing but once you know where to go you can bee line to the end. The only thing slowing you down is the awful combat. Once you fight your first black dragon you might give up immediately. You do not need the majority of items you find as they only boost your end game score. The game encourages you to try to beat your previous score which is laughable thinking about it. No one in their right mind will have the fortitude to play through this abomination once let alone multiple times. I suppose the game’s brevity is a blessing in disguise. But it was little comfort for the poor bastards who got this for Christmas or wasted birthday money on it.
In Closing
AD&D: Heroes of the Lance is one of the worst titles on the NES and an absolute failure of a video game on every conceivable level. I am sure somewhere under its mountain of problems there is the makings of a decent game. But they fail the execution at every turn. Games this bad do not come along often. They serve as a warning to appreciate what you have because it could always be worse.
