Developer: Data East Publisher: Data East Released: 1992 Genre: Beat ’em up
I have always questioned the nostalgia for Bad Dudes. Even when it was released for the NES I knew it was not a particularly good game. To an extent I get it; the cheesy story and voice clips have made it a meme. But a classic? Hell no. But apparently it was popular and sold well enough to warrant a follow-up. Two Crude Dudes is a sequel in everything but name. But just like its “predecessor” it is a repetitive and boring title that is not worth a second glance.
In the future a nuclear bomb has ravaged New York City. Before the people of New York can pick up the pieces and return to some semblance of normal life a gang known as Big Valley arrives and takes control of the city. With no other recourse the American government hires two mercenaries to clean up the city with the offer a big payday as their reward.
Where Bad Dudes was released at a time when the beat em up was just beginning Two Crude Dudes (or Crude Buster in the arcade) faced stiff competition. Games like Final Fight and Streets of Rage raised the bar. The arcade game at least had solid visuals to cover up its subpar gameplay. The home port loses that and in light of its competition Two Crude Dudes is lackluster in comparison.
Most brawlers have a limited move set, especially the early titles in the genre. But even by those standards Two Crude Dudes lags behind. You can punch, jump kick, and perform an evasive roll. The jump kick barely feels like one as your beefy dude barely catches any air. However you can hit multiple enemies at once and even kick projectiles making it useful. Your small move set works but even the original Double Dragon gave you more to work with. A major change in the Genesis version is that combo attacks no longer work. Most enemies are fly backward after a single hit and gain invincibility after, making this slower paced.
Perhaps the one unique feature is the grab button. This goes beyond just picking up and throwing enemies (and each other). If it isn’t bolted down chances are you can pick it up and throw it. You can toss rocks, boxes, clubs, telephone poles, and even cars around like confetti. You can even snatch mobile transport vehicles midair to chuck at their riders. The game gives ample opportunity to play around with this as there is debris and detritus everywhere. It relieves some of the tedium of the game and I am glad someone on the development team expounded on it.
Ultimately it still is not enough to save the game. Two Crude Dudes is an exercise in frustration. The hit detection can be questionable at times. But more than anything the large sprites and compact stage design are at odds with each other. Most stages have two levels you can move between yet the upper layers often obscure enemies and such. The levels are too long for their own good which makes the lacking move list stand out even more. I could maybe forgive the general gameplay if there were more variety in enemies and the pacing was better. But those are two of the game’s biggest issues and help to drag it down.
It sucks that Two Crude Dudes is not better as it has a lot of personality. The Fist of the North Star vibe is strong and I imagine intentional. The game oozes personality at every turn. The comic book word balloons lend it a comical atmosphere. Considering the dude bro personality of our heroes it makes sense. The enemies are a weird bunch, from midgets and cyborgs to a murderous Santa Claus. The bosses are a weird bunch and take advantage of the post-apocalyptic setting to get weird. You’ve got a nuclear snake charmer, a spider-mutant, and a werewolf. Mutants like these are cool and I wish they made up more of the general roster of enemies.
Data East made an admiral job with the port but it suffers heavily in the transition. The level of detail has been cut back significantly in the backgrounds, causing them to lose their character. Certain special effects like the tornado in stage two and blizzard of stage four are missing. Layers of parallax are missing and nearly all of the voice clips are missing as well. This is not the system’s fault; Two Crude Dudes saw a release before larger cartridges were available, forcing them to make necessary cuts. It is unfortunate.
In Closing
I did not expect much from Two Crude Dudes and it is still disappointing. This is an average brawler that you need not bother with.
